flesh eating

i'm moving in slow motion today.
my breathing seems harder than
usual and the sun is starting to
make me itch. I've got this pain
between my legs and in my heart.
and i've used up all my wishes on
hoping it would all disappear. i'm
so ashamed of how little i respect
myself and how much i want to
please everyone else. i was just too
small to get away.

small and powerless.

i've become completely numb
i'm a faker and i feel
nothing.

except my stomach acids beginning to rise.